You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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