We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
