Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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