And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
