I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
