dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
