Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Randomize
