I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I love having hate sex.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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