once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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