also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
