to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
