put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i already hear my dad disowning me
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
