lets start a swedish sibling band together
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize