I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
