a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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