did you get engaged???
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
