you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
