what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
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I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
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There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
tell me about the fingering
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