Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He? As in you personified your dick?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You ruined the universe
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
