so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Damn victory sex feels great
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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