You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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