I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
