Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
