this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
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I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
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Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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