When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
