Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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