NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
