I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Text me some of your sweat
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
