Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
