i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
