sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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