508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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