he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
