I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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