So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
