what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize