I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
