pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize