i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
