If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
