He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
