You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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