Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
