I am spending my child support on dildos
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
