we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
