i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You need a sexual gate keeper
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
