I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
