I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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