did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
