Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
