Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Randomize