So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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