You really coming over, don't trick.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
