Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
