So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
