Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
please come you make the beer taste better
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
