I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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