i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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