I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
