So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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