she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
