I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
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