Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
