forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
