Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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