We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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